February 26, 2011
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These are not my hands.
I usually try to”write” with light, but there are days duing which I write a lot, in very small character in a small copybook, in really crazy ways.
During these days I am more inscrutable than usually.
Here it comes! Finally!
It took me almost 2years taking the decision to try to write a biography. I thought it was good trying to tell with my own wrods about me and my “relathionship” with photography.
A Sunday afternoon of January, I can’t remember which, I was really thoughtful and opened a program for text writing on my tablet pc, and I started writing something. I had no idea what I was going to write but the biography came all by itself in a few minutes. I was surprised but scared too and I found the courage to show it only to the webmaster.
After a few days I found the courage to ask an opinion about that “file” to a friend, than to another, than to another till I realized that all were answering, with their styles and languages: “Yes, that’s you! Yes, you should publish it”.
I want to thank all of them for being so patient with me and for the good things they said.
A special thanks goes to my friend Chris. He also edited the biography suggesting me a few changes in a some senteces, since I tend to speak and write “eslisenglish” rather than “English”.
I only hope it won’t bother to those who happen to read it.
Here is the full text that will be published in the “About” section in a few hours or days… at least it should help to understand the “backstage” of these pictures.
One evening a friend of mine contacted me via Skype and after he’d barely said Hi, he sent me this message: ”what you wrote on your Skype profile is perfect”. I asked him to explain what he meant and he said “the sentences you wrote to describe yourself are perfect; it truly describes who you are”. The description was “A daydreamer who studies physics but loves photography”. Yes, he was right; in that line you can understand a lot about me.
I waste a lot of time daydreaming. I say “waste” because probably I am not skilled enough to honestly consider daydreaming a useful way to start a real-life project… But I can’t help it; daydreaming is something I do even when I am talking with people. Unfortunately, there is always a part of me projected toward another dimension that at times is dangerously far more captivating than reality.
Physics, or science in general, has been one of the most important things in my life from my earliest memory. No surprise — my father got a degree in physics and my mother is a mathematician. This also means that most of their friends studied physics, math, and any science-related thing you can conceive. When I was a little girl I used to look at mama’s paper thinking that those sequences of symbols were fascinating codes (as they actually are) that were worth understanding.
As a consequence, no one was amazed when at the age of 9 I said “I want to be a scientist”. For the following years until the last high school year, I kept living according to this “future image of me”. At the age of 19, during the last months of high school, I decided that I wanted to contribute to find alternative sources of energy, and especially I wanted to study a way to improve the use of sunlight. I used to say “God has already created an amazing source of energy and we are not using it as much as we could. I want to contribute to improve the use of sunlight as a source of energy”. This is probably the last most important turning point of my life. As a final project for the final high school test I did a presentation where I tried to show how photography is used in almost every field of study (e.g. science, history, art) as a way to analyze reality in order to discover the truth.
In those months I would have described myself as “a daydreamer who is going to study physics AND loves photography”. During those 10 years another passion was growing: the passion for photography.
In summer 2006 it was already grown enough that I had considered for a couple of weeks the idea of moving to north Italy to study photography, but the passion wasn’t strong enough to consider it a wise plan.
After 4 years I’m still trying to figure out if at the age of 19 I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
At the university I met my boyfriend (the webmaster of this site) and despite my clear failure in my studies, I still consider physics amazing and captivating. In this regard I can’t say that I made a mistake.
On the other hand, the passion for photography imposed itself on my life.
It changed from a “lovely hobby” into something essential and at the same time extremely painful.
I feel photography is essential because it keeps alive the ability to find Beauty in life, even when everything seems to be crashing down. I consider photography painful because each shot I take, each second spent at this activity makes me feel like a thief because it’s not what I am supposed to do now. At the same time, it is probably the only thing I can do in a decent way.
In these days I’m fighting against myself to get at least a bachelor’s degree in physics (despite that I’m already 2 years late for this) and at nights or when I have a moment of apparent free time I try to understand what bad and what good I have done in recent years, and how to increase the amount of good actions and choices in my life.
Meanwhile, I keep on taking pictures looking for that Beauty that makes life worthy and I try to keep this site alive to show to the world what I have been able to find, in hope that it can be useful for all of us.
Well, mom was still mixing the ingredients when I took this picture.
This strange filament is probably caused by the egg that was one of the ingredients.
I know, this is anothe “Java sleeping” picture.
I can’t help.
I love taking pictures of Java falling asleeping in funny situation like this, where she is an “hot dog” in a “pillows-bun”.
Unfortunately, I’m a stubborn bad student
I don’t know if in English culture a student that doesn’t study is named “donkey”.
That’s what happens in Italian culture.
Here, even stubborn people are named “donkey”.
Merin’s youngest child, that in her blog she named as “figlio piccolo ma alto” (youngest son but tall) since he is really tall and still growing up.
Her (and our) “amazement” should cause no surprise, if you consider that in 3 months will be only his 16th birthday ;D
Unfortunately it can’t happen everday to me, but each time I go to the house where my brother lives I can have this little joy.