Looking for stability

I think it’s an instinct of self-preservation consequence, but…

No more words, please.

I’ve started to wish for silence… I stopped to talk, to listen to people talk and I started to surf through “old” shots never showed due to lack of time and a few other reasons…

While surfing through pictures, so many thoughts came up to my mind but they don’t take any verbal form, neither in Italian… my mother tongue.

I have started to wish I were allowed to avoid talking and still live well… so often using words had been, just, so useless…

I was a dog…

Capinera #2

I love the way it moves and jumps like a dancer, just… I wish it came when there is more light on my balcony

Human blindness or hidden Beauty?

This picture always made me wondering if it’s my fault when I cannot see any Beauty sign around me, or if it hides at times to remind me of how bad I feel without it.

And finally…

today, after lunch, the following 2 guys allowed me to take at least a picture of them.

One was:

And this one, I’ve been told, should be a “capinera“:

Should I…

stop playing with photo editing?

The pigeon of Rimini

It was August. I was in Rimini, before leaving for coming back home.

I was taking pictures, I felt I was failing. I didn’t notice the pigeon was flying in the picture are. I’ve noticed it only today.

I feel a little dumb but that reminded me of something I love of photography: how it shows details that you would have missed otherwise.

Counting sheep

I guess almost everyone, who had problem to fall asleep has been told, at least once in life, to be counting sheep to fall asleep.

Almost since I started being able to remember things, I had big problems to go to sleep at a proper time,  therefore since an early age people suggested me to count sheep to fall asleep.

The most common suggestion was “to imagine sheep jumping a fence and count them”, but I was too young to try to explain them that to  me sounded strange that a sheep “jumps” a fence… I’d rather imagine an horse doing this.

Anyway, I tried. Adults said that, why not try? The problem is that I’m probably mentally sick, and the fact to imagine an endless repetition of the same imagine was boring… as it had to be, but it turned to be irritating, so the final effect was the opposite…

In order to not get too much irritated my mind started building all the scenario of the action, and the action itself, as filled as possible with details…and my mind was once again too busy to just fall asleep.

Later, when I was about 10 I started answering that I tried even to count T-rex jumping a bigger hence and that, again, it didn’t make me to  fall asleep (still trying to imagine too many details) but at least it was funnier… That’s all Spielberg’s fault, but it’s a funny fault I guess .

People were usually really surprised (not pleasantly) by this last answer, except relatives that did know… something not related to this post.

Not much later I stopped to try to imagine any sheep jumping on an hence, if I had to do a kind of daydreaming mine were more fascinating and useful..

Now, at times, I use the screensaver to fall asleep. Of course I make it show pictures I’ve taken, but… tonight I’ve noticed this:

And despite I didn’t remember to have put this picture in that folder, and despite the fact I was in a really dark dark mood, I couldn’t avoid to smile and (silently) laugh.

That’s one of my very very first picture taken with my digital reflex, these is a goat or a sheep that belong to a shepherd that make his animals graze on an area close to my country house… that remind of another funny picture, but there’s no hurry to show it.

Not a serious picture

and sometimes things  just appears to be nice/funny, but I don’t know the reason

It’s not all over :)

I feel a little gloomy

although today I had the luck to spend a few hours trying to find something popping up from darkness

and although I still have the luck to dream and hope I’ll be able to leave a mark, even a thin one, on this world that will be “enlighten” by The Eternal Light.

Despite all, I already decided a life course,

that appears to be the opposite of the one that should be, but, this it the only possible good one at the moment…

therefore I’ve to complete my work, to complete what I’ve started 3 years ago (and I’m already late).

Completing this work might mean to never change direction, but surely it means, now, to drop the camera for a while… to keep it always beside me and ready to sh3oot, because I do need it to “breath” and go ahead… but being ready only for taking pictures if “something comes” and stop looking for that “something” for a little while…

Tonight I probably saw the end of the last day of “freedom to look for”, that’s why I feel a little gloomy but, only a little.

Today sunset said me “Stop playing with the camera and go back to your real work”, but it told me in a kind and comfortable way.

As that little star wanted to tell “it’s not ALL over when sun goes down”…

I know, this happen at every sunset, but that’s the one I’ve been watching to for 1 hour and half peeking out from a narrow window of the small attic of my brother’s house.
Once again I was being stuck by narrow spaces but, today, I was feeling free because I had the freedom to look around, to see sky around me.