3 years together

Today outside was cloudy and cold, this wasted our plans to stay a whole day out taking pictures.

I wanted to try to plant two sunflower seeds. One comes from the present I received from the webmaster for my 21st birthday. The other is one year younger because I  hadsaved the “present fruits” and planted eight of them in following spring.

I had the luck to see a little sunflower blooming at the end of November and still looking nice in December, why shouldn’t they bloom a few days away from spring? We’ll see what happens.

These 2 little sunflower seeds, challenged by the weather conditions, remind me so many events that, I’d really love to see them blooming.

The ring is our promise ring and is two years old now. I love the way the numbers three and two repeated for several reasons today.

A semi-serious post about getting a new camera.

At the end of May will be my 23th birthday, this means that  in less than 3 months I’ll get older.

I know, I get older everyday but that day I’ll officially start over another year, the 24th of my life.

Today I focused on 4 “good” reasons why I want to get a new camera for my 23th birthday.

The first is a mere reason of time. My Olympus E300 is still working in a great way but it’s an entry level reflex and after almost 5years I start feeling the need to get something “more” to put beside my little girl…

The other 3 reasons came after a more complex thinking.

The first days of 2010 made me realize that: This is the decade in which I’ll start my 30’s… therefore this is the decade that will define the rest of my life. In this decade I’ll probably start my job (or more likely my frustrated and unemployed life), I’ll  probably get married and, who knows, even become a mother. I’m already late about all this life-stuff.

I felt terrible about it. I don’t mind of getting old, I don’t even look forward it, I just want to “get old” in the proper way, to do the right things  in the best way and at the proper time.

Therefore I hate the idea of getting 23 because I’ll be 23 and still far away from my graduation in physics (that I was supposed to get by the end of year 2009). I hate this delay, I’m mad at me for this; then the coming birthday will yell this delay to the world. I know the world doesn’t care about it, but this isn’t the point. The point is that there is this yell that I can hear and that keeps me awake at nights, and I want to contrast it with study (already in progress) and especially with Beauty and the only way I know to find It is through taking pictures. This is the second reason.

A third reason is that I wanted to start a 365 project with the coming of the year 2010. I gave up.
A few weeks later, like early February, I decided to start this for my 23rd birthday mainly to prove to myself, and to those ones who care, that despite all the bad aspects there are still a lot of worthy aspect in my life.

The fourth may sound like the first because it is related to the fact of “getting a new camera that helps to improve my taking pictures skills”… but it’s essentially a reason of hope and of love for photography.
Something I’d like to never give up, despite all the problems it may cause.

Actually my dream is still to fully focus my life on photography, but I also know that “Dreams are dreams and they are many, while truth is truth and it’s the only clear one”.

Please time…

Don’t run too fast.

I need you to study.

Please!

What tortures me #1

…but studying is important!

Close, but not close enough.

Tonight I was just getting ready to go to bed when looked at my dart board.

My mind went back to Friday night when the webmaster saw it and, with a kind of surprised-disgusted-worried expression on his face, just said: “It’s all riddled”… and I thought: “Yeah, and I don’t regret it at all”.

This made me smile, but just for a second…

Soon after the dart board looked more like a picture of my life… trying several times to achieve something, reaching a good result but, that t is not as “good” as it should be… and at times I feel the same about “going to the heaven” or just “being a good person” aim. I feel like I get close, but not close enough, despite the daily big amount of attempts to do the right thing.

Dark mood mode on…yep.

- update 28/01/2010. The picture is rotated, I didn’t hang the dart board to the ceiling. I’m crazy, but not so crazy… how lovely is to discover what my friends are able to think of me. Sigh!

Too much…

photo editing, I’m not liking it… I mean, I’ve always thought it is a little “stupid” to do because it changes reality… I’m worried… ^_^

Luv u

Love you mom, because even if you are a math teacher at university you can still laugh at this:

Love you my little Olympus c1 zoom because 5 years ago you gave me the chance to take this picture despite the awful light condition…and it was a totally unplanned picture!

Sorry sci-world, it’s nothing personal!

Goodbye Decorations

Few minutes ago I wondered what kind of pictures I’ve taken on Jan 11th of other years. I found a picture taken in year 2006.

Christmas time is totally over now… as it was in 2006, and probably I’ve taken this picture e few minutes before helping mom in putting away all Christmas decorations.

It’s not all over :)

I feel a little gloomy

although today I had the luck to spend a few hours trying to find something popping up from darkness

and although I still have the luck to dream and hope I’ll be able to leave a mark, even a thin one, on this world that will be “enlighten” by The Eternal Light.

Despite all, I already decided a life course,

that appears to be the opposite of the one that should be, but, this it the only possible good one at the moment…

therefore I’ve to complete my work, to complete what I’ve started 3 years ago (and I’m already late).

Completing this work might mean to never change direction, but surely it means, now, to drop the camera for a while… to keep it always beside me and ready to sh3oot, because I do need it to “breath” and go ahead… but being ready only for taking pictures if “something comes” and stop looking for that “something” for a little while…

Tonight I probably saw the end of the last day of “freedom to look for”, that’s why I feel a little gloomy but, only a little.

Today sunset said me “Stop playing with the camera and go back to your real work”, but it told me in a kind and comfortable way.

As that little star wanted to tell “it’s not ALL over when sun goes down”…

I know, this happen at every sunset, but that’s the one I’ve been watching to for 1 hour and half peeking out from a narrow window of the small attic of my brother’s house.
Once again I was being stuck by narrow spaces but, today, I was feeling free because I had the freedom to look around, to see sky around me.

1st January 2010: ordinary day dreaming :)

I’ve spent the day with family so I’ve taken no “interesting” pictures that I wish to make public.  I wanted to go out to take some pictures in the afternoon but it rained…

This means I cannot start the year with nice shots. Sorry!
This site wants to share beauty and I don’t want to leave it silent the 1st day of the year…

No problems!

Today I’ve seen something of “beautiful” too, something I can’t take a picture of, but I can show you its final part:

I learn about another man (Georges Prêtres) who is 85, if I’m not wrong, but looks really active. I think that in part it’s probably due to the fact he loves his job and because he is one of those that in a way or another “shows” real Beauty to this world…

Today I loved the way he involves audience, and his facial expression.

And I keep dreaming to do something like that, not music related because I’m terrible with music, but something that can bring good thing… who knows…

Despite all, I think that listen to  “Radetzky Marsch” and to the New Year concert in general it’s a great way to start an year.