What lovely contrasting feelings…

I think it’s an instinct of self-preservation consequence, but…

but it was worth too.

While surfing through pictures, so many thoughts came up to my mind but they don’t take any verbal form, neither in Italian… my mother tongue.

I have started to wish I were allowed to avoid talking and still live well… so often using words had been, just, so useless…

Today outside was cloudy and cold, this wasted our plans to stay a whole day out taking pictures.

I wanted to try to plant two sunflower seeds. One comes from the present I received from the webmaster for my 21st birthday. The other is one year younger because I  hadsaved the “present fruits” and planted eight of them in following spring.

I had the luck to see a little sunflower blooming at the end of November and still looking nice in December, why shouldn’t they bloom a few days away from spring? We’ll see what happens.

These 2 little sunflower seeds, challenged by the weather conditions, remind me so many events that, I’d really love to see them blooming.

The ring is our promise ring and is two years old now. I love the way the numbers three and two repeated for several reasons today.

I’ll keep on doing my pictures and start the 365 project even if I don’t buy the new camera.

I know, I get older everyday but that day I’ll officially start over another year, the 24th of my life.

Today I focused on 4 “good” reasons why I want to get a new camera for my 23th birthday.

The first is a mere reason of time. My Olympus E300 is still working in a great way but it’s an entry level reflex and after almost 5years I start feeling the need to get something “more” to put beside my little girl…

The other 3 reasons came after a more complex thinking.

The first days of 2010 made me realize that: This is the decade in which I’ll start my 30’s… therefore this is the decade that will define the rest of my life. In this decade I’ll probably start my job (or more likely my frustrated and unemployed life), I’ll  probably get married and, who knows, even become a mother. I’m already late about all this life-stuff.

I felt terrible about it. I don’t mind of getting old, I don’t even look forward it, I just want to “get old” in the proper way, to do the right things  in the best way and at the proper time.

Therefore I hate the idea of getting 23 because I’ll be 23 and still far away from my graduation in physics (that I was supposed to get by the end of year 2009). I hate this delay, I’m mad at me for this; then the coming birthday will yell this delay to the world. I know the world doesn’t care about it, but this isn’t the point. The point is that there is this yell that I can hear and that keeps me awake at nights, and I want to contrast it with study (already in progress) and especially with Beauty and the only way I know to find It is through taking pictures. This is the second reason.

A third reason is that I wanted to start a 365 project with the coming of the year 2010. I gave up.
A few weeks later, like early February, I decided to start this for my 23rd birthday mainly to prove to myself, and to those ones who care, that despite all the bad aspects there are still a lot of worthy aspect in my life.

The fourth may sound like the first because it is related to the fact of “getting a new camera that helps to improve my taking pictures skills”… but it’s essentially a reason of hope and of love for photography.
Something I’d like to never give up, despite all the problems it may cause.

Actually my dream is still to fully focus my life on photography, but I also know that “Dreams are dreams and they are many, while truth is truth and it’s the only clear one”.

]]> http://www.photonmessage.com/blog/2010/03/01/a-semi-serious-post-about-getting-a-new-camera/feed/ 0 http://www.photonmessage.com/blog/2010/02/20/a-little-crazier-than-usual/ http://www.photonmessage.com/blog/2010/02/20/a-little-crazier-than-usual/#comments Sat, 20 Feb 2010 20:18:54 +0000 NightOwl87 http://www.photonmessage.com/blog/?p=2056 That’s how I feel about my life.

Things are running too fast and strange.

Once I had been happy. Then sad, recently terrible upset and frustrated.

Today I don’t feel well but I’m calm and serene.

I just wish to keep silent, listen to music and read.

At the same time I’d like to take my camera and go through the city streets and silently take pictures. I love the way you don’t need to talk to take pictures, at least most of the time is a lovely silent activity that create something that can tell a lot to this world.

Fortunately the webmaster is planning to bring me to do birdwatching in an area close to our city were birds come while moving toward or away from Africa. I guess he realized I do need to go out to take pictures

Picture taken in March 2006 while walking along “Via Etnea” (the basilica  is placed after the building on the left of this picture).

This is what Catania people call “the church/basilica of the Collegiata”, destroyed in the earthquake of 1693 that killed 2/3 of Catania people.

The basilica has been rebuilt later as much of the other things you can find in this little city… I might say other thing about this, but I’m too tired and lazy to translate this wikipedia page.

This is one of those pictures I want to go to take again now, and who knows, even get inside the church and take some other pictures…
There is a metro station pretty close to this area, and another metro station is not too far from my apartment. It solve car and parking car problems, and it’s pretty cheap if you consider petrol and parking cost, temptation is high! ;D

I’m being pretty busy in these days, going to be more in the next ones, therefore I’ll surf trough the endless archive. Pray for me, need help for several reason, nothing of terrible but… uff!

Eyes burns and head hurts and I can’t see well…

I couldn’t see much beauty in my day today, only seeds of hope survived.